


Bertie Bott's Love Theory

by wolfaster



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, Bonding, F/M, Falling In Love, Fireplaces, Gryffindor Common Room, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter In Love, Late Night Conversations, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), One Shot, POV James Potter, Romantic Fluff, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Their Love Is So
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:49:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28887882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfaster/pseuds/wolfaster
Summary: James can only understand his feelings when he talks about something he understands. And that is a box of flavored beans which has been in his life for years. Just like his gigantic crush on his fellow Gryffindor, Lily Evans.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Bertie Bott's Love Theory

**Author's Note:**

> This was just an idea I had in the middle of the night.

Lily Evans was his first love. He was thirteen, he knew people wouldn't call it that, even his father told him once that you can only know true love after years of broken hearts and attractiveness. "You don't know love when you are young, everything is different." Yeah, James felt indeed different. It was an once-in-a-lifetime type of experience, unique, one of a kind. But so was Lily. 

He didn't however get her feelings about him. He understood, of course, it may not seem to make him happy, it was not a dream come true, but he understood. To change it meant to change himself, or worse, her. It isn't how it's supposed to be and James was sure, one day, it will all just _be_ , naturally and unexpectedly. Just like that day when James found out the unbearable Bertie Bott's marmalade bean was marvelous to appreciate only if eaten together with the buttered-popcorn one. You don't see it coming, nor ever did, but you hope for someone to eat those beans, it feels quite sad to throw away a box of sweets with sweets still inside of it. But you keep eating the marshmallow, peach and black pepper beans and you hope for better days. 

Maybe James was indeed too young for love, he was already sixteen and he could only understand it when he thought about candy. Very classy. 

He needed an expert. Or at least the closest he could get it.

The boy got up from his bed and tiptoed away from Pete's snores. He pulled up the curtains and started loud-whispering. 

"Sirius?"

Nothing. Only a pale white boy sleeping with his mouth open. 

" _Padfoot!_ " 

"What do you want, Potter?" 

Black was still half-sleeping, yet he moved his legs for James sit on his bed. He casted a silent spell while Sirius opened his eyes. 

"Can we talk?", Sirius' eyes widened a bit. 

"Yeah... yeah, sure", he suddenly didn't look sleepy anymore, he could face fifty pixies, "What's wrong?"

"Have you ever fell in love?"

"Bloody hell, Prongs, you woke me up to talk about Evans again?", Sirius kicked his knee and James laughed.

"It's not Evans... Well, it is a bit." 

Silence.

"I don't know about love yet, but it's close to", he knew he could talk to him about it and he wouldn't be judged. Maybe later though. 

"How is it?" 

"'Dunno. Everytime something happens I want to talk to him, it feels good to have someone to share stuff with."

"And how did you know?", Sirius smiled. 

"I still _don't_ , Prongs. That's the fun part. Everyday feels different." 

There was that word again. _Different_. The more he thought about it, the least it made sense. James would tell himself the story of how his parents met and tried to find any information, anything similar to his own story. Dad and Mom worked together for seven months and Dad chase her through India, after one month separated, and they never left each other since. 

Lily and James, by the other hand, studied together for seven years now and she still ignores him completely. Once, in fifth year, she let him make her company to the library. He carried her books and asked Lily about her day. It felt almost real. 

_Almost_. Almost, almost, almost. They were almost graduating, almost getting a house for the four of them, almost becoming proper adults, almost done with everything. James was almost giving up on Lily. It was the right thing to do, even if he was in love after all. She wasn't, so why would he keep doing it? Torturing himself, bending, breaking and doing everything just to share a glance with the red-headed. 

He lied to Sirius and told his friend he would go back to bed.

"Thank you for your advice", he whispered, without any spell now to protect the others' sleep. 

"Anytime, Prongs. Just not in the middle of the night."

James went downstairs to the common room the most silently he could. The fireplace always made him feel better, it would also set the drama to a beautiful level. A meditating stage, almost _(almost!)_ theatrical. To love or not to love. That is the question. 

He was not the protagonist though. He heard voices coming from the room while he was still stepping down on the stairs. James took a few steps back and waited for a sign to go in or go back. (That is the question!) Of course, it would be great to add a little drama to his feeling and have a breakdown by the fire, but if the floor was taken, he understood. He was used to understand. 

"Is someone there?", the voice spoke to him. Her voice. 

James put his head into her direction and waited for his permission to get closer. They shared a glance for a moment, a little-rare-precious moment. Her eyes were blueish-green as usual, but more blue than never now. Blue as in sad. She looked sad, sitting by the fireplace right on James' spot. 

"Hi", he whispered to Lily, still standing by the stairs. 

"You can come in, James. I was just leaving." 

"No!", he said anything before she stood up, "Stay. I'll go back to bed." Unless you want me to stay. 

Lily nodded, eyes focused on the fire, James was heading back and he wanted to ask if she needed something, but she seemed to not want any company. He took a last glance at her, as in goodnight, and he saw her lips started trembling. The boy fast-walked to the fireplace, soon enough to kneel by her side when the girl started crying. 

"Shh... Shh... It's good, it's all good." 

James hugged her by the shoulder and tried to comfort Lily, she was shaking and crying, fragile, small and she needed a hug. Merlin, she was hugging him, of course she was not herself. 

'"I'm sorry", her voice was too close to his ear, James realized how close they were, the closest they have ever been. The hug was tighten for a second. 

"There's nothing to apologise for." 

"I should hex you before you see me crying", her body was still shaking but for a moment it shook differently. She laughed. James smiled to the fireplace. 

"You can hex me anytime, don't worry about it."

This was _different_. Hug Lily, see Lily crying, make jokes with each other and not about each other, stand so close to her he could smell her shampoo. 

"Do—", James stuttered. That was different too. 

"I don't know if I want to talk about it", she whispered back. Lily knew what he wanted to say, she reads his mind. 

The hug was dissolved but they were still close, knees touching, shoulders close to tickle and her cheeks were so wet James felt the air around her as that sensation after the rain. 

"I'm here, either way", he said. 

Her eyes were bright from wet and it was audible her breath losing rhythm, her fingers were playing with the yarn from her socks. Lily was close to being a whole _different_ person. _Almost_ not herself. 

She looked at him, again, and mouthed a soft "Thank you" that melted James' heart. The fire cracked a bit too loud and she jumped scared, unnoticeable if you weren't so close to her as James was. It has never happened and probably would never happen again. 

"Who would have thought, huh?", the boy whispered, not smiling but it was clear it was a joke. Great time to start playing around, James. "I never thought you'd stand to be by my side."

Lily laughed, it was a cry-laugh. Her expression was still sad but she giggled. 

"Where does that come from?" 

He didn't answered. 

"This idea that I somehow hate you", she explained. 

"But you don't like me either." 

"In my defense, you never did anything to convince me to don't dislike you." 

"Until now", and the girl nodded. She nodded. James was doing something right. Lily nodded and he smiled at her, because she nodded, she agreed with him, James had convinced the love of his life that he was bearable to be around, he was not a useless prankster, he had a heart and two ears, he could hug her and listen to her anytime. 

With the other hand — the one who wasn't placed on the floor behind Lily, the one who wasn't ready to hug her anytime soon if he felt she needed it —, he waved his wand and his strategically placed Bertie Bott's flied to them. Yes, James leaves a box of sweets under a chair occasionally, you never know when you might need it. The fact he shared his beans with Lily Evans that night just proved his point. You never know. 

"Tell me a secret and I'll tell you one." 

Lily squeezed her lips while staring at the room, as if it was hard this process of thinking.

"I'll go first, then", James said, picking a few beans from the box, "Marshmallow or peach?" 

She chose the white one and the boy placed the other on his mouth. 

"In third year, I was bored one day", pause for chewing, "And I asked McGonagall if I could be with her in detention." 

"What did she say?", Lily was laughing, her tongue slipped out between her teeth as her mouth widened. 

"She said yes, of course. She adores me." 

The girl leaned over while laughing and grabbed more beans, she gave a buttered-popcorn one to James. 

"Do you know that the popcorn bean tastes even better with the one with marmalade?" 

"I did not."

He couldn't stop smiling. 

"Now, you go." 

"Right. OK", there that was, the thinking face again, "God, I can't think of anything!" 

"It doesn't have to be a secret, just tell me something." 

She sorted more beans for them and shook her head while she chose the precious information she would share with James Potter. The girl looked really sad, still, as if she was hugging something too tight to her chest and she was almost out of breath. _Almost_.

"I guess I would love to play guitar, someday. Or any instrument. At all."

"You like music, then?", Lily nodded. This time James picked up the beans and placed them on her hand.

"Who doesn't? I mean, wizard music is not that good but I love all sorts of it", she ate them one by one, as if she was saving the sweets as long as possible. James understood. (He always did it.) He was saving everything he could too, every frame of Lily Evans sitting by his side and opening up to him.

"My sister and I— we..."

"What?" 

"Forget it." 

The girl went back to the fire, she was far away again, stepping back and returning everything to its place. Was that the way they were supposed to be? 

"It's ok."

He was back to whispering and Lily was so distant, James thought he couldn't reach her even with his hand ready to embrace the girl. 

"Sirius likes some guy named David."

"David Bowie. He is great." 

Everything went quite for a while until James' brain started working, trying to remember the words. 

" _Didn't know_ — _what time_... _it was_. _The lights were low_. _Low_. Low. _I leaned back._.. _on my radio..._ Oh! Oh!"

Lily was laughing and James was trying to sing something he was completely sure it was from the Bowie man and not any other thing Moony and Padfoot listened to. 

"I should go", this was close to a slap on your face or a punch on your stomach. Or that time Sirius drank a polyjuice to look like Hagrid and woke up James in the middle of the night.

"I can leave, if you want. Or I can stay. If you want. Just say the word." 

She was already standing up. 

"It's fine, don't worry. You should try to sleep too, it's getting late." 

"Take the beans then, it's the least I could do."

"You've already done enough, James. Don't worry." 

"I insist", he handed over the box to Lily and she took it, with a shadow of smile in her eyes. They were no longer that sad. 

"You asked for a secret...", James smiled. 

"Yes?"

"I don't like throwing out a box of Bertie Bott's. It's stupid, right?"

"No, it's not. I get actually kind of sad when I have to do it, there's always a bunch of beans in there that I can't eat."

"Absolutely", she smiled back. 

"But you can try the marmalade with the buttered-popcorn. Like I told you." 

"Yeah", Lily nodded and started walking away. She turned around though, as if a girl in those famous love stories, "I'll let you know about it." 

She disappeared through the stairs, like if nothing happened and James was still trying to sleep, fantasying about a life with Lily Evans, where he could talk to her and share stuff with her, but for the first time in a long, long time it was _different_. (In _a good way)._ And that's what made all the difference. 

**Author's Note:**

> James sings Starman, by David Bowie.


End file.
